How to Craft Your Essay for the SBS Financial Aid Scholarship

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

Organize your thoughts by exploring the four material buckets: background, achievements, the gap, and personality.

• Background: Reflect on your life experiences that have shaped your educational journey. Consider challenges you have faced and how they have influenced your goals.
• Achievements: Identify key accomplishments in your academic and extracurricular life. Use specific metrics or outcomes to illustrate your responsibilities and successes.
• The Gap: Acknowledge any gaps in your education or resources that this scholarship would help fill. Explain how further study at UMass Amherst aligns with your future aspirations.
• Personality: Share humanizing details that reveal your values and character. Think about anecdotes that showcase your resilience, determination, or commitment to your field of study.

Creating an Outline

With your brainstormed ideas, create an outline that logically flows from one section to the next. Start with a strong introduction that captures attention through a specific moment or scene. Follow with sections that delve into each of the four buckets, ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus. Conclude with a reflection on how the scholarship will enable your future contributions.

Drafting Voice and Style

As you draft, maintain an active voice and be specific in your language. Avoid general statements and clichés. Instead of saying, "I am passionate about education," illustrate this passion through a story or example that showcases your commitment. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and transitions should guide the reader through your narrative.

Revision and the “So What?” Factor

After completing your draft, take a step back and evaluate your work. Ask yourself, “So what?” for each section. What does your story reveal about you? How does it connect to the scholarship's purpose? Make sure each paragraph contributes to a coherent narrative that answers these questions. Seek feedback from peers or mentors to refine your essay further.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Be mindful of the following pitfalls:

• Avoid starting with clichés or generic statements.
• Do not exaggerate or invent details about your experiences.
• Steer clear of passive voice; always highlight your actions.
• Ensure your essay remains focused on your unique journey and how the scholarship will support your goals.